Yoherz
10-08-2007, 08:40 PM
Ok, so I was talking with a girl who was in a b****y mood, so she started doing anime rants to feel better. Then, we started on Pokemon and I just couldn't resist.
Ok, Ash, you're cool and all, but after 20 something seasons, becoming a "Pokemon master" is just annoying now. Also, you're not gonna be getting there anytime soon since they keep adding another 100 Pokemon every year. Just give up already! And that's another thing. Why the hell is there 496 Pokemon? What? They couldn't make four more Pokemon? How the hell do you come up with another 100 every year, but can't put in FOUR more Pokemon? Hell, make one of them a freaking KITCHEN SPONGE and call it a Pokemon! You already have a flaming monkey! Who wants to travel around with the constant smell of flaming s***?!
And how the hell do all these trainers know what they're Pokemon are saying when it's just "Pika-pika-pikachu"? "What's that Pikachu? Mom fell in a well?"
And how the hell do all of these trainers NOT have fathers? Do all the women in town have sex with Professor Oak or something?
And how the hell does a freaking bubblebeam make an explosion when it hits ANYTHING? And how does a razor leaf and a headbutt create an explosion? And why do trainers say the Pokemon's name 10 times before they FINALLY pull out their pokedex to see what it is? Are they honestly THAT slow now?
Why the hell does Brock ALWAYS pop up and end up traveling with Ash and another girl? Does this 20 something (probably 30 something by now) year old gym leader REALLY have nothing better to do than travel around with a 10 and 14 year old pair of kids? He flirts with enough women that it seems like he would have at the very least 22 families that he could settle down with, aside from his 10 brothers and sisters.
Oh and these eggs. How the hell does a ditto make an egg? Do they just pull it right out? Which is another point, how the hell does a 2 foot rattata make an egg that's freaking 3 times it's size? And what the hell does a porygon egg look like? Is it pointy? And how the hell do people like Misty and other trainers get these eggs of super rare and one of a kind Pokemon like Togepi? Where the hell are these things coming from? And why do these professors give away these one-of a kind eggs to these new trainers? It's like, "Oh, here's a super-rare Pokemon egg. Don't drop it!" (Splat.)
And how is it that some of these Pokemon evolve and become a completely different species? Slugma to Macargo. A slug to a snail? Slakoth to Vigoroth to Slaking? A sloth to a monkey to an ape? Torchic to Combuskin to Blazekin? A baby chicken, to a chicken that can walk upright to a chicken-human interbreed? Makes you wonder what those Pokemon "breeders" were doing while they were waiting for those eggs to hatch. Hell, that might explain all the new species of Pokemon.
Ok, Ash, you're cool and all, but after 20 something seasons, becoming a "Pokemon master" is just annoying now. Also, you're not gonna be getting there anytime soon since they keep adding another 100 Pokemon every year. Just give up already! And that's another thing. Why the hell is there 496 Pokemon? What? They couldn't make four more Pokemon? How the hell do you come up with another 100 every year, but can't put in FOUR more Pokemon? Hell, make one of them a freaking KITCHEN SPONGE and call it a Pokemon! You already have a flaming monkey! Who wants to travel around with the constant smell of flaming s***?!
And how the hell do all these trainers know what they're Pokemon are saying when it's just "Pika-pika-pikachu"? "What's that Pikachu? Mom fell in a well?"
And how the hell do all of these trainers NOT have fathers? Do all the women in town have sex with Professor Oak or something?
And how the hell does a freaking bubblebeam make an explosion when it hits ANYTHING? And how does a razor leaf and a headbutt create an explosion? And why do trainers say the Pokemon's name 10 times before they FINALLY pull out their pokedex to see what it is? Are they honestly THAT slow now?
Why the hell does Brock ALWAYS pop up and end up traveling with Ash and another girl? Does this 20 something (probably 30 something by now) year old gym leader REALLY have nothing better to do than travel around with a 10 and 14 year old pair of kids? He flirts with enough women that it seems like he would have at the very least 22 families that he could settle down with, aside from his 10 brothers and sisters.
Oh and these eggs. How the hell does a ditto make an egg? Do they just pull it right out? Which is another point, how the hell does a 2 foot rattata make an egg that's freaking 3 times it's size? And what the hell does a porygon egg look like? Is it pointy? And how the hell do people like Misty and other trainers get these eggs of super rare and one of a kind Pokemon like Togepi? Where the hell are these things coming from? And why do these professors give away these one-of a kind eggs to these new trainers? It's like, "Oh, here's a super-rare Pokemon egg. Don't drop it!" (Splat.)
And how is it that some of these Pokemon evolve and become a completely different species? Slugma to Macargo. A slug to a snail? Slakoth to Vigoroth to Slaking? A sloth to a monkey to an ape? Torchic to Combuskin to Blazekin? A baby chicken, to a chicken that can walk upright to a chicken-human interbreed? Makes you wonder what those Pokemon "breeders" were doing while they were waiting for those eggs to hatch. Hell, that might explain all the new species of Pokemon.