you know you are a DSMer if

[Im Faster]

by far the longest list ever

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i found this online and thought it was pretty funny. Sitting here reading them saying yup to almost all of them LOL..

1 = If you've ever had to explain crankwalk to a mechanic....
2 = If you have a garage full of spare engines, just in case....
3 = If you've tried to bolt your old 14b onto a riding lawnmower....
4 = If you've hit your head on the B-pillar during an AWD launch....
5 = If you have a running tab at the local tranny shop....
6 = If you go rallying in your daily driver....
7 = If your driveway has divets in it cause your car never moves....
8 = If you have a trophy case full of Honda and Mustang emblems...
9 = If you eat "rice" for dinner....
10 = If people recognize your car by the sound of it's lifter tick....
11 = If you drive 5 extra blocks for a gas station that has 1 more octane point.
12 = If you get refused on your tread wear warranty every time you have tried, because of poor alignment.
13 = If you bought half of your performance parts at Home Depot.
14 = If every time you beat up a V8, they tell you that something was wrong with their car.
15 = If you find yourself hanging with bikes out of the hole.
16 = If people ask you what's wrong with your car because it keeps making this noise.
17 = If your freinds get beat in a race and call you immediately after to rematch for them.
18 = You have had to send a tow truck back to the towing garage because you needed a flat-bed.
19 = You always request parts for an Eclipse because the parts stores always lookup the AMC Eagle.
20 = You drop whatever you are doing when the UPS man brings a new part for the car. And then spend the rest of the day installing it.
21 = You only carry a Palm Pilot to log your engine's data.
22 = You change your tires, plugs and fuel curves for the winter.
23 = You know more about the 4G63 engine than some engineers at Mitsubishi.
24 = Your wife/girlfriend wishes your car never exsisted.
25 = Your wife/girlfriend wishes DSMsource never exsisted....
26 = if you think your dsm should have come with a flatbed/tow truck following you from the factory
27 = If its one of the few imports a big fat farm kid can work on.
28 = If you lose a race and the other guy says "Damn that cars fast!"
29 = your car spends more time being broken than being driven
30 = you dont let people drive your car into the bays because its "quirky"
31 = you spent more fixing it than it cost
32 = your eye automatically catches EVERY dsm that drives by on the highway
33 = your out driving/fixing in the winter more then you EVER wanted to be.
34 = if it's a 2g spyder, you quickly check to see if it has stock dual pipes. then turn back to see you are swerving off the road
35 = before racing someone, you 90f the time know their engine, hp, and performance specs. and you usually know if you will win or not
36 = right before u start modding, some damn matainence thing breaks down (i.e. alternator, starter)
37 = u barely have money for fun time (teenagers)
38 = u wake up in the morning look out the window and go "ahhh, what a nice car" / you wake up and see your damn broken car and curse up a storm
39 = you look at riced out civics and roll your eyes
40 = right after you get your paycheck, you get online and spend it all on parts the same day.
41 = Every tire shop/parking garage/car wash/repair shop guy stalls out when he lets out your ACT 2600 clutch.
41 = Every car with an alarm triggers in parking garages as to say "hello".
42 = Your exhaust note is so deep and unique that people expect you to pass by 1/4 mile before you get there.
43 = You wonder where all your money goes.
44 = when you go to fix something minor you ALWAYS expect a major hassle and something else is GOING to go wrong.
45 = DSMsource is the best website to visit. no correction -THE ONLY WEBSITE TO VISIT!-
46 = If your on a diet because you ran out of weight reductions for your car...
47 = If a junk yard to you is an upgrade yard.....
48 = If your car consists of parts from more than 10 other DSMs.....
49 = If you always have to show your car in a garage.....
50 = If you take offense to the word Riceburner.....
51 = If you have a stick in your car, that's job is to prop up the hatch.....
52 = If your pasanger window takes more that five minutes to get all the way up.
53 = If you never put more than a quarter tank of gas in your car.....
54 = If your DSM is the most unreliable car you have ever owned, but still your favorite......
55 = the letters d-s-m-s-o-u-r-c-e on your keyboard are so worn off your keys on your keyboard that you can hardly make them out anymore.
56 = The UPS guy comes over for a beer on a regular basis
57 = Your bucket of extra parts pulls 60 bucks on eBay
58 = Paypal.com sends you christmas cards
59 = An average oil change involves fresh oil, new filter and draining the catch can.
60 = The pages of your shop manual have more wear than the tires on your car.
61 = You know the meaning of VFAQ.
62 = Some people would like to go to Europe, you'd like to visit Normal IL.
63 = You get in alot of races because your car "auto-revs" for you.
64 = You have custom fabricated a carbon fiber cup holder
65 = You've almost been strangled to death by the automatic seat belt.
66 = You can launch your oil dip stick 20ft.
67 = You know that your car has a built in toolbox under the hood....
68 = If a honda owner ever looked at you funny when you say "free mods"
69 = You have a bucket full of nuts and bolts and your car seems to run fine and you can't figure out where the heck they go.
70 = you have pieces of 6 different turbos in a box and they are all smoked.
71 = you carry a hydraulic jack with in your car at all times
72 = when being towed you have to lift the front end of the car with your hands so the intercooler clears.
73 = people call your car "valdez" after the oil tanker.
74 = When the flatbed finally comes, you ask the tow guy for a piece of wood to put under your right rear tire (or left, if it's a 2G) so you don't scratch your muffler
75 = If your AWD is equipped with automatic windshield wipers enabling system after every hard launch... (1G)
76 = If everytime you launch, you can't see the damn road all the way through 1st gear (AWD)
77 = Your headliner that's falling off combs your hair every morning (1G)
78 = You hear a different vibration inside your car for different RPM points (1G)
79 = You are afraid to grab your Crank Pulley and check for play (2G 7-bolt)
80 = Modification of #19: You tell the Auto Parts Store and anybody for that matter you have an Eclipse because nobody knows WTF is an Eagle Talon...
81 = you have watched 3 passengers break their glasses on the idiot belts
82 = when people say "is your car running again?" you say "kinda"
83 = every time you work on your car you end up with more bolts than you started with
84 = you have a laptop with a datalogger and manual CD on it in your car at all times
85 = you have ever explained "fuel cut" to a scared female passenger
86 = people that can "drive stick" stall your car out 5 times before they get it out of the driveway
87 = people think you are just revving your car in neutral when in fact it is 1st gear (fwd dsmers)
88 = you have gotten in many arguements on how "your car CAN'T be THAT fast". it is a friggin 4 cylinder mitsubishi!!!
89 = you have to explain to a mechanic of 35 years what "boost creep" is.
90 = if you slam 2nd hard enough your wipers turn on
91 = you buy a k&n filter and call it an "intake"
92 = you thought you blew up your dsm but in fact the dipstick popped out and sprayed oul all over the manifold causing massive smoke
93 = when someone asks you how the car is running you never say "awesome" or "great", just "its running"
94 = you hate the "hump" (1G AWD)
95 = your friend with a 5.0 says "at least my car is reliable"
96 = a normal weekend involves removing your transmission 5 times.
97 = you work all week so you can fix your dsm on weekends
98 = your friends think "phantom knock" is some sort of ghost movie
99 = If you drive your car for 10 minutes, park if for 2 hours, come back out...it only takes 2 minutes to have the heat full blastin again.
100 = You hear non-informed DSM'ers saying that chrysler over-all as a company sucks..and you have to reinform them that they are downing their own car.
101 = After racing the honda boys with their "pimped" out cars you have to pop your hood for them to belive your cars almost completely stock
102 = You've owned something with the name Horsecock in it....;-)
103 = You are completely dumbfounded when people say that eclipses are fast, talons are ok, and lasers are slow

104 = your mom claims a 4500 rpm launch "throws her back out"
105 = When over the school's intercom you hear "Excuse me but the white mitsubishi eclipse is still running."
106 = When you get asked at least once a week if 'That Hump' is supposed to be on your hood.
107 = Your friends with the tow company and they stop by every weekend to see what the new "project" is this weekend.
108 = You dance every morning when your car cranks over.
109 = when you ask your friend with a tow truck to tow your car every other day...
110 = your "grocery getter" is a 12 sec car... lol
111 = You have the shop mannual memorized
112 = The local shop calls you to ask a question about a broken eclipse they have in there shop.
113 = when people drive ur car...and ask-whats that noise...you always reply with-which.. people driving ur car for the first time...get a new understanding for the word torque steer -(fwd) (even if they are *expierenced drivers*
115 = You wonder why the used oil only fills 2 of the 5 quarts you just put in.
116 = You have your girlfriend drive you "far" distances becuase you actually want to get there.
117 = You drive all around town, aimlessly, when it's running "right".
118 = Every time you scrape the front bumper, you and everyone else in the car feel the pain.
119 = You wake up in the middle of the night, stumble to the computer and subconsiously type in DSMsource DOT COM !!!!
120 = everytime billy badass mustang driver says "buy a domestic" you scream at the top of your lungs "IT IS A ****ING DOMESTIC YOU DUMB SHIT!"
121 = If you can navigate at night with our 2 candle powered headlights.......
122 = If at one point you could punch the gas and get the spy-hunter smoke screen.......
123 = If you avoid car conversations with new people, so you don't have to start from scratch.......
124 = If your stock boost gauge reads 9 but you know it means 19......
125 = If you tell people you have a two seater so that you don't have to watch them suffer in the back seats.....
126 = If you need to call someone to fetch your spare when you get a flat........
127 = If you have ever lit a cigarette off the exhaust manifold......
128 = If you have attemted sex in your car once, and vowed never to do it again.
129 = people who first drive your car and launches at 4500 and ask "why wont this thing burn out?!?!" (awd)
130 = people tell you the bump on your hood is a turbo bump, even when it's a NT
131 = You have a pile of burnt out clutches sitting in your room.
132 = Youve uttered the words, "Officer I dont think i was going that fast."
133 = You've had to explain how your turbo timer works to your mechanic.
134 = You show up at a friends house and their mom asks you why your car sounds like a truck.
135 = You always give your shop manual to the mechanic when bringing your car in for work.
136 = You go knocking on your 60 year old neighbour's door sometimes to ask him if he can help you with a jump start.
137 = On some nights you pray that someone should come steal your car.
138 = You hold your breath and pray to god when making left turns (2Gs)
139 = DSMsource.com is your homepage
140 = You always tell the person that is crammed in the backseat to watch their head when you hit a bump.
141 = You get spanked by a supercharged Mustang and he tells you that out of all imports he's raced you hung the best, and that he doesn't even waste time on the "other" imports anymore.
142 = Your first investment for your car should have been a lift.
143 = Your car won't start when the temperature gets below zero.
144 = Your girlfriend knows what DSM stands for.
145 = Your girlfriend laughs her ass off when she's riding with you and a Honduh revs on you.
146 = Your car was faster 2 years ago than all your friend's cars are now.
147 = You can put on a big turbo and run 25 psi on a completely stock motor.
148 = While browsing the internet you have 2 or more windows of DSMsource open!
149 = Your Mom knows what DSM stands for
150 =The mechanic gets a shocked look on his face when you tell him its got AWD
151 =You see a truck stuck in the snow, and you drive right by
152 =You say a grinding transmission is "normal"
153 = You carry a "little" toolset in the trunk, "just in case"
154 = When your friends know that you are coming just by hearing your car turn the corner.
155 = You save up for your dream turbo setup instead of your dream body kit.
156 = You bought that exhaust because it's 3in and thats not the tip size.
157 = You dont tell people you have an Eclipse, Talon or Laser. You just say that you drive a DSM
158 = Guys in V-8s are afraid to race you
159 = If your girlfreind prays that a contender doesn't stop at the light next to you.....
160 = If you still put down 13 second track times in the rain.......
161 = If every time you wrench you find more stuff that your car doesn't need.......
162 = If you try to race a random car and realize you just raced him last week.......
163 = If you think the the 3G is the STUPIDEST idea ever......
164 = If you have had to remove your radiator fans, because they just don't fit in front of that Turbo.......
165 = If you capitalize the word Turbo as if it's a name......
166 = Youve explained what "DSM" means so many times, you have the speech memorised
167 = you go to an autoparts store and ask for Eagle Talon Parts hoping that those stupid people think they are cheaper than the Mistubishi Eclipe parts.
168 = youve spent at least an hour on how Turbo isnt the actual engine but a separate component, then you lose the people you are explaining it to at the "blow off valves"
169 = "What's a Talon?" "Its the same as the Eclipse" "what?!" "shut up and race"
170 = your wallet is full of autozone/autoparts reciets/lifetime warrantys in place of money
171 = If you have ever talked to someone who was sure that the Turbo in your car is a transmision.
172 = When at the strip you sit around with the Z28s and WS6 guys and talk shit about hondas
173 = when you hear "horsecock" you think of a shifter!
174 = When several people have nicknamed your car the "dumptruck" becuase of the replica exhaust note.
175 = When you spool right next to a kid with his window down and wwhHAA-- PSHSHhhh, blow off and break the poor kids neck, just becuse it's funny.
176 = When you're dad gets scared when you order more parts--becuase he drives a 350 small block with 410 gears.
177 = You know "who" Satan really is.
178 = The 10mm and 12mm sockets are the dirtiest in the set.
179 = You lose more 10mm and 12mm sockets in a month than most people do in 3 years.
180 = When the guy you are racing puts up his window in the middle of the race when you hit full boost.
181 = The black deposits on the rear bumper are now "part of the paint"
182 = You get scared if, when launching, you don't hear a series of loud thumps coming from under the car.
183 = You get worried if you STOP smelling fuel/oil/exhaust while driving.
184 = Your mind starts to race when your CEL (check engine light) goes off.
185 = You think the hump 'adds character'
186 = When something on the car breaks, you spend hours on the internet researching a better, faster, and cheaper part
187 = You have almost rear-ended too many people to count because you were trying to see if that was a gs-t or a gs etc.
188 = The word crankwalk is enough to give you chills, and you believe it is a product of 'satan'
189 = You KNOW something is wrong when your CEL goes away
190 = If on more than one occasion an old guy in a Vette has said "what the hell do you have in there"?
191 = If you buy a Super Sized drink, because you have a place to put it
192 = If you price out performance parts that you can't afford to buy
193 = If you get a sick feeling in your stomach every time someone tries to BS a track time
194 = If you own stock in an octane booster company
195 = If you have over boosted without consideration of the cosequenses, just to see what she does
196 = If you though you invented something, then later found a thread describing the same thing on DSMsource
197 = If you have a favorite stop light
198 = If you drive around the puddles to stage
199 = If you PORT on Friday night, while your freinds are out drnking
200 = If you took your car to a shop that you didn't know, they would definately fail the inspection.

[Im Faster]

201 = If your exhaust could out flow sewer pipes
202 = If the first thing your passenger asks is "whats that smell"
203 = Every time you race, you have to put the dipstick back in
204 = you roll with your pop-ups down too be differnt.
205 = you sing "as i walk through the valley of main bearing death. i shal fear no crankwalk" while driving around.
206 = When you catch a rock to the hood on the highway and litterally shed a tear.
207 = When your favorite light has a huge black patch of Tire Bite spread all over the luanch area.
208 = When you look in the rearview between the 1-2 shift and scream-- "AHhh that one shot a flame!"
209 = If the person you just beat thinks you won because of the "rocket booster" disguised as a tail pipe.
210 = If when driving through the getto your car backfires and clears an entire neiborhood.
211 = When you have the only 4cyl in the area that won't pass a gas station.
212 = When the SES light comes on and the car is running better (for those of you with a test pipe instead of a cat).
213 = When you have more fun installing parts than actually using them
214 = People ask you what dyno shop you use for tuning, and you laugh at the thought.
215 = Your Palm pilot has no phone numbers or email addresses...it only has one real purpose
216 = You take it upon yourself to make your "special blend" race gas in your basement with supplies from Painting and Home improvement stores.
217 = You and the guys at Buschur, RRE, FP, and your local autoparts store are all on the first name basis.
218 = Your Links toolbar in Internet Explorer is DSMsource, DSMTrader, Paypal, and goodguybadguy.org
219 = You know the tow company employees on a first name basis. And vice versa.
220 = You know what toluene is really used for.
221 = You have an urge to smack people who ask about 'venting to atmosphere'.
222 = You swap out your stock fuel pump and wonder what else you can use it for.
223 = You know that this sig is all to true. --> "DSM's, turning ordinary people into mechanics since 1989."
224 = You install your Walbro 255lph Fuel Pump and save your stock one to pump oil in your tranny when you flush her...
225 = Your cellphone speed dial #s are RRE, Conicelli Mitsubishi and your local AutoZone.
226 = you get goosebumps when you hear the word "shootout".
227 = you'd drive dozens of hours to go to Ohio but, you're too busy to take a family member to the store.
228 = you pack more stuff into your car for a day at the track than a NASCAR pit crew needs for the Daytona 500.
229 = you own a helmet because you CAN go faster than a 14.0
230 = you have a "special" gas can at home, that costs $40.00 to fill.
231 = Your girlfriend drives you around more times then you drive her
232 = The local garage calls you first when they bring in a wrecked DSM on a rollback (as in are you interested in buying it)
233 = Your left leg is larger in mass than your right one (act 2600 users)
234 = Everyone asks if you car is still running when you get out.
235 = some people like listening to the radio, you prefer your windows down listening to your turbo & bov.
236 = you walk around the house going "sssssssss pssssssht" "sssssss psssssssht"
237 = your mechanic calls u at 10:30 at night asking u how to turn ur car off
238 = You are your OWN mechanic
239 = you're friends gave up calling you on weekends.. wait what friends??
240 = u become utterly disturbed when u hear the terms "aluminum wing", "apc taillights", "wings west", "chrome wheels", "body graphics", "shift light", "honda" and "in-car neons"
241 = u shed a tear of joy once a year when u see a dsm in super street magazine
242 = u want to kill ur best friend when he spends $3000 on stereo equipment in his non-turbo eclipse
243 = ur girlfriend calls u obsessed and u smile
244 = u turn insane from the fzz fzz sound coming from ur rear speakers during a heavy-bass song
245 = during a hard launch, you ask your passenger to lean forward to prevent wheel hop
246 = you see a wrc evo and feel the need to say something along the lines of "i have that engine"
247 = If you get pissed at ebay when they return Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders auctions in your search results.
248 = You would rather post your 'personal' problems on DSMsource than tell you friends.
249 = u start shit with kids on the honda forums site
250 = If you still scare the hell out of yourself every time you launch
251 = If your friends complain for you to turn on the A/C and you refuse cause it slows the car down.
252 = u found 9387498374 problems with the fast and the furious
253 = you are unimpressed with 13 second time slips
254 = you will never let friend drive your car for fear of his/her own saftey (torque steer into a tree)
255 = you are automatically attracted to girls who know what "dsm" stands for
256 = all of your friends insist your car is FAST buy you say how it will be faster after.....
257 = you spend hours staring at a wall thinking about your next upgrade or how to fix something.
258 = You know every possible use for the letters DSM.
259 = If you fit in Bracket 1 for Import Nationals, and Bracket 3 for the Shootout.
260 = If one look at your air can says that McGruff the Crimedog has a keen interest in intakes as well as crime.
261 = If your spark plug cover is held on by one bolt because you over-torqued the rest of them.
262 = Your friends know exactly where your BISS screw is, and fix your idle more then you do.
263 = You have 5 or more tools in your center console for everyday problems.
264 = Instead of sick days at work your boss has designated "DSM days"
265 = When your family gives you flashlights, blankets, roadside assitance kits, and First Aid kits for Christmas.
266 = When your pay more a month for repairs and/or mods then most people pay for insurance.
267 = your e-mail address or instant messaging screenname has something to do with your car
268 = You have Honduhs rev on you more often than R. Kelly visits a McDonalds Playplace
269 = You purposefully wheelhop when your girlfriend is in the car to make her boobs dance.
270 = If even in the freezing cold winter you roll down the windows when approching a tunnel, so that you can make the LOUDEST purge ever...
271 = If one of your first mods was tearing out your AC......
272 = If you can tell an entire story with smiles and no words.......
273 = When the honda kids ask wat body kit you want you say "An RM Chin Spoiler"(2G)
274 = You have stock or stock sized rims on your car
275 = You get an evil-like grin on your face when a car pulls up beside you on the highway wanting to race, hears your BOV, and backs off.
276 = People refuse to race you based solely on the fact that they've seen the GST/TSi badge on your car.
277 = you have a group on yahoo/aol im soley for dsm talkers/ mechanics, ect ect
278 = You'r Girlfriend only has a dsm because of you.
279 = It's faster than anything YOU own because she lets you work on it.
280 = youve actually seen this: vBulletin Message The server is too busy at the moment. Please try again later.
281 = You will only date fellow dsmers...ha (ones that own your year/model car are even better)
282 = You have been hit on the back of your head with your hacthback more than.. Passenger say "oh shit" and scramble for something to hold on too during a hard launch.
284 = When people complain about the cost of 87 Octane gas, you shake your head knowing you have to pay alot more for premium.
285 = A car has actually given up 3 seconds into the race
286 = You wish you could just start over ... and do it all right.
287 = Being poor doesn't even bother you anymore.
288 = You drive around at a set RPM and make your passenger crawl around inside the car and find the rattle
289 = You have been hit on the back of your head with your hacthback more than.. Passenger say "oh shit" and scramble for something to hold on too during a hard launch.
293 = You consider mangling parts (crushed bov, hacked mas) a performance upgrade.
294 = there are rumors at your olf highschool that your car runs 9's
295 = u met some good friends off of dsmsource and other dsm related things
296 = You get REALLY pissed when people ask, "so does your car have VTEC in it?"
297 = Before you and your gf go out on a date, you pop your hood and check things out....just to be sure!!
298 = Your grandfather and dad keep complimenting the amount of power your "small 4 cylinder" puts out.. but still insists your car is a P.O.S. because it is always broke
299 = Your mom is pissed b/c she wasnt aloud to have her husband help her build a new garden last summer because he was helping you with your car everyday
300 = Your friend with a civic can't understand why he didn't beat you on the bottle... lol
301 = people try to explain that the hump on your hood is to make room for the turbo...even if your n/t
302 = When you have to go into your DSMsource profile and take the checkmark out of the box that says "send email when replies are posted" due to the thread ".....You might be a DSMer"
303 = you clear your friends CEL
304 = you have to explain that it IS possible to run more than 10 psi of boost
305 = the only guage in ur car that u look at is ur boost
306 = your car looks like a chubby shark that is insanely happy because it is stoned out of it's mind.
307 = you have DSMers asking what the hell your car is (1.8l guys...i had to rep...no cam bulge)
308 = you have a group on all messenger programs for DSMers
309 = "DSM" shows up more than once in your cell phone's phone book
310 = you get more email about DSMs than junk mail
311 = you can make a whole sentence out of 3 letter abbrieviations and 4 letter words and still make sense to all of your friends.
312 = you have had more than one person ask you to pop your hood because they have never seen an engine like yours
313 = another n/t one, turbo guys opt to take your car because its running
314 = you have shown up to a DSM meet without your car (or like me and show up in a honda) because it died on the way
315 = you can tell the make(mitsu/eagle/plyth.)/model(RS-t,GS/T/X, TSi ect.)/year of any DSM in 3 seconds or less.
316 = you have articles of clothing that say DSM
317 = you have called Satan with oil all over your hands and asked a question pertaining to the part you just removed from your car.
318 = you have tranny fluid that is the consistancy of jello
319 = you have a magnetic tranny and engine oil drain plugs because you need them
320 = your friends nearly get into fist fights over shotgun
321 = you have measured your pile of extra car parts
322 = you have car parts in your bedroom closet
323 = you have weighed your audio equipment
324 = you hide your boost gauge
325 = you are in debt weather you know it or not
326 = the words timing and belt send chills down your spine
327 = your boss knows what dsmsource/tuners is and is working on a way to block it
328 = you think that there is nothing sexier than a front mount
329 = you know that your car has more american parts on it than your neighbors ford
330 = 1.8 liter owners are con....tra....dic..ting?
331 = when you become VERY DEFENSIVE over your personal dsm choich...
332 = if you own the lowest model and the only bragging points you have are gas milage and a non-interference engine
333 = If you can get your 4cyl to a 12.5 1/4 for $775.
334 = If you can beat a good post into the ground..........you might be a DSMer
335 = If you visit the car wash daily or every other day
336 = If you take every single part out of your interior including all
the plastic peices just for weight reduction.
337 = If you have pics of DSM's on your background and screen savers
338 = if you own a two car garage and you have 2 cars but yet it seems that the DSM always takes up both spots.
339 = if you park 1/4 mile away from you destination, or take up 2 or more parking spots
340 = if your boost controller blocks the way of you MPH gauge
341 = You decide to drive around just so people will look at you.
342 = your on a 100 mile trip and your mom tells you to call when you get there, and the call comes about an hour or two eariler than expected. Then you have some explaining to do.
343 = Instead of studding homework you read Import Tunner, or Super Street...
344 = If you take allys with tall building on each side just to hear your turbo hiss, your BOV, or your mufflers tone...
345 = if you put off paying bills just to order that part you have been saving up for forever...
346 = If your loan officer asked what you need a loan for and you answer "turbo upgrade"...
347 = If you would rather take pictures of your car over your girlfriend...
348 = if you would rather sleep in your car than your own bed...
349 = if you stay up all night on a work night just to clean your engine bay...
350 = the only reason you bought a digital camera was to take pics of you dsm
351 = you know the first names of the guys that work at TRE
352 = youre happy that your 14b/T25 died because you can now buy something bigger
353 = your 'family' life consists of hanging out with the club to fix each others cars....
354 = if you look forward to racing V8s
355 = if you have agrued with 7 million people that your Talon/Laser is the exact same thing as an Eclipse
356 = if you visit the Mitsubishi dealership, even when you own an Eagle/Plymouth
357 = if you know what Galant VR4s are
358 = if you know your factory Wings/Bumpers are the best looking parts you can have on your car
359 = if you look forward to snowy winters
360 = if you know the purpose of "The Buldge"
361 = if you know that you dont need NOS to run a 1/4 mile in under 12 seconds
362 = if you spend more time washing your car than you do getting ready in the morning
363 = if you would rather own a 90-94 over a 95-99
364 = if youre little brother knows why DSMs are better then Hondas
365 = if you know the name of the city and state your car was made in
366 = if you would rather look at pictures of DSMs with shiny FMICs over pictures of naked women
367 = if your exhuast is the same size as a school bus's exhuast
368 = if you have been talking about the Evolution finally coming to the US for the last couple of years
369 = I see a lot of dirty DSM's (mine included, just too much shitty weather to keep it clean this past year )
370 = dude thats like 4-5 inches, not 3 (I have yet to see that size on a DSM
371 = You rationalize your 14b because someone Else has run 11's with theirs
372 = You get your car back from a 4 month wait, and drive it all night literally shedding tears of joy, because you love it more than anything...
373 = All your friends start buying GSX's because they got a ride in yours.
374 = You get pulled over when going snowboarding, because you don't have traction chains, but then point to the AWD sticker and the cop is stupified.
375 = You wish you had another car for commuting.
376 = You eat pieces of shit for breakfast. Oh sry, off topic.
377 = You are the only one on the road during a Level 4 Snow emergency...
378 = You do AWD drifts and donuts in an empty parking lot hoping the first person there in the morning says "Holy Shit.."
379 = You know there is a replacement for displacment; a BIGASS turbo.
380 = You know the secret to getting stuck bolts loose is just a little busted knuckle juice.

[kombi731]

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q268/USMCFieldMP/dsm2.jpg

[Im Faster]

iim at work... i cant see the pic you posted

[spike109u]

"You are the only one on the road during a Level 4 Snow emergency"

How true is that? Because that would be awfully useful where I live.

And I know you won't like this question, but what's the difference between a Talon and an Eclipse anyway? Just the name?

[Im Faster]

in 90-94 the eclipse talon and plymoth laser are all the same car.. same drive train and mostly same interior just differnt bumpers...

in 95-99 no laser but same thing just differnt bumpers

[kombi731]

I like the eclipse the most just look wise imo
in all fairness not all had crank walk or so they say something about a 6? bolt engine vs other design

[Im Faster]

6 bolt is is the 1st gen

7 bolt is 2nd gen more CHANCE of crank walk

[spike109u]

Another dumb question: What's crank walk?

[mrbkkt1]

lateral (side to side) moving of you crankshaft.
2nd gen eclipses were prone to doing it.

[mrbkkt1]

You know that you are a dsm'r if you hate evo's as much as you love them.

[corytomo]

7 bolt came in 1st gens too...
i worked at road race, the home of fixing crank walked 2g's.

here's a funny thing i made back in the day..
http://www.tomo-dachi.net/pics/funstuff/autometer-DSMexcuses.jpg

and here's another one for the crankwalked guys..
http://www.tomo-dachi.net/pics/funstuff/crankwalk.jpg

[kombi731]

bahaha thanks cory :)
DSM's catch a lot of shit but they can be fast too

[ikeyballz]

hey if it has 7 bolts...why would it crank walk more? wouldnt more bolts = less motion? x_x or is it just a balance thing.


maybe im just thinking of the 'most powerful SBC' thing where the reason why they're capped at the certain power is cuz the bolts cant hold the heads onto the cylindres @ the power stroke.. and the whole head lifts off... lol

[corytomo]

It just happened to do with the tooling mitsu used for the newer cranks. bad oiling on startup and bad tolerances, so the cranks walked on alot of the car.

[MLE]

GAWD that list was LOOOOOONG! But I LOVED it! Thanks, Dennis, for putting a smile in my day!