HAWAIITALKS!

disclaimer: I have no children and have no knowledge of raising a kid

Yesterday at Costco this lady was dragging her daughter (presumed anyway) thru the store yelling "I'm not kidding - I'm not kidding" over and over - the kid was just laughing. It was a funny scene - kind of annoying - but funny.

How many time do you have to tell the kid "I'm not kidding" before you bust their ass right there in the store?

I say twice - then bust their ass really good - empty threats don't work. You have to let them know that they are going to get the shit kicked out of them from time to time for your words to have any meaning.

Then again - I don't have kids for a reason........................... but if I did they would get their ass busted occasionally when they needed it. (fukk the liberal - "I'm gonna put you on time out" pussies - bust their ass too)

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people comment to me about how my kids behave...let me tell you they behave for a reason (and it ain't Mr. T). they know i am not averse to corporal punishment. sure they are young kids but they've had the few lessons learned and know not to push the envelope anymore.

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In this day and age, people that dont have any connection with the parents and families file complaints and the parents get in real trouble(law). That is society, even kids know there rights and get parents in trouble.


Sht, when i was young, I HAD TO GOT GET THE BELT that i was going get lickns with for my dad. "Get the belt" oooooppps to late to say sorry....

If i cried, i get more lickns. If i didnt cry, i get more lickns. If i laugh, ooooo boy...

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to me, every generation grows up a little more fuked up.

Instead of "suck it up" and "man up" and take responsibility for yourself, people are taught to cry about the "unfairness" and do jack shit about it. So our society teaches people that they're entitled to feeling happy. Doesnt matter if the situation is being spanked, gay marriage, welfare rights, employment, etc etc. If they dont like the status quo, then they crybaby about it and get their way.

And now, this "change" and entitlement mentality are being perpetuated from our fearless leader.

I'm a believer in beating your kids. Fear is a great motivator. In fact fear is the greatest motivator. If my kid acted up in public they'd get an even worse beating when we got home for embarrassing me...

but on the flip side, when they're good they will be rewarded too.

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Biblical; from one of my favorite books of the Bible, Proverbs (of Solomon)

"He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently." Proverbs 13:24

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

"Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die." Proverbs 23:13

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 29:15


Yep, even us "wholesome" Christian types are instructed to apply discipline when necessary, in a punitive manner.

The key to it is applying DISCIPLINE. Too often I see exasperated parents taking out their frustrations on their kids....oftentimes, the child isn't even the reason for the exasperation...he or she is just the most convenient and defenseless "punching bag" the cowardly parent has.

I disciplined my kids. I whacked them pretty damn good (they're pretty resistant to pain until I really had to lay in on them with the belt). When they know they've had it, you can tell. I have to run outside far from the house so they don't see me crying...I hate, I HATE to hit my kids. When I'm composed I come back and speak to them so they understand how it hurts the whole family, not just themselves, because we don't like hurting each other.

I haven't had to hit my kids in two years now. They understand that we're a team, and to hurt one is to hurt all of us.

Randy has the idea. My kids are good, they get rewarded; quite well, I might add. They f_ck up, they know already. They get ONE warning.

Interesting that at my nephew's graduation my kids sat next to us quiet as can be, observing every aspect of the commencement exercises, while kids older than my son (he's 12) are tromping round the floor of the gymnasium like 5 year olds, talking up, and while most of us just endure it, it took a parent (not the kids' one) to get them to shut up and can it. When my nephew delivered his valedictorian address (he was one of four), kids around us were chasing each other, and people I could only guess were their parents were yapping on their iPhones down in the lower levels (where I couldn't throw my keys at them)...saying "it's the boring speech part" so everyone could hear them. No class.

I guess you can't escape stuff like that. Apples don't fall far from the tree. If only you could RoundUp™ the bad trees.

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getting smacked when you mess up, and rewarded when you're good is how i was raised. i was in highschool or so when i stopped getting lickins though, my mom would just talk to me, but damn would i feel bad when i messed up. sometimes that was way worse then getting smacked. i look back and thank my parents for still putting up with me even though i'm pretty much the f**k up of the family. thats what helped me get on track hardcore especially during last semester since i was on academic probation

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one warning should be all that it takes...
that warning can come non-verbal as in a certain 'look'
if the keiki still has a confused look,
the certain 'look' can be supplemented with a barely noticeable shake of the noggin

the keiki has a saying, "no means no"
also yes, means yes
and a maybe is a possible... which often times they're happy to hear 'maybe' because it's not a no.

maybe is also known as 'we'll see'.

idio will 'ask' certain things of his keiki,
when it comes to punishment, it won't be asking but 'telling'; there IS a difference.

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I give my kids lickens. I also put them on time out too. Although, I make them stand and do their timeout. They do it in the center of the room. They move, they get lickens. After all is said and done, I tell them I love them.

i have also, like The Idio, used the "i'm NOT asking you, i'm TELLING you" phrase, which usually results in total compliance.

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that's part of the problem of some of these families,
the parents want to be their offspring's bf (best friends)
and will ASK them to stop this or stop that;
which of course, their offspring won't comply.
and they're wondering why.

tis cool to be their friend,
but you really should be their parent first.

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that is an argument i had with the T over the Giant Stepson more than once (his doing-nothing-around-the-house action). it's improved...only a bit.

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said this in relation to limp dong, but i guess could apply here as well

in lois's case, stepson's been conditioned for so long, that you really can't do shit about it other than kick him out of the house. It's something which is invaluable to your child, that something is called tough love.
eviction laws - Page 2 - ForumsHawaii

This is almost exactly how I feel.


Smack the undiscipline outta them when they screw up, and don't when they're good. Reward them when they go beyond good. And you should smack the undiscipline outta them as long as you can, because when they get old enough, physical punishment (anything short of abuse) may not be (as) effective.

Also, when I babysit my (horrrrrrribly undisciplined) nephew, he thinks he can talk back to me. Smack on the mouth will cure that right up. He thinks he can talk to me rudely. Smack on the mouth cures that too. If he's throwing a tantrum, I put him under the stairs (Yeah, I do. It's not child abuse and it works). If he's being too rough with his toys (and he often is), I just take it away. Sometimes he never sees them again, depending on if I forget where I put it or not. If he doesn't ask politely for something, say a glass of milk, I'll make him as over and over until he gets it right. Half the time he just gives up.

If the kid isn't raised right, you gotta make sure it happens. Society is filled with too many ****ed up kids as it is.

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yep he's 22 years old, old enough to realize that the rubbish bag needs to be taken out when it's full. without having to be TOLD to take it out right? you would think, but noooooo

hell my 8 and 5 year olds do more chores around the house

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I NEVER hit anyone else's children. EVER. Even if my brother or sister or anyone else who's their parent tells me it's okay.

The last thing I need is to be accused of assault, in a context where they could say I did something I did not.

I tell them, "It's up to YOU to discipline them, not me. You're the parent, I am not. My job is to tell you what they did and YOU decide whether to discipline them or to let it go. What happens after that is totally your responsibility."

Problem is we have people becoming parents who really aren't supposed to be....they lack maturity and self-discipline and self-control (which probably got them into the situation that made them a parent).... if all they want to do is screw all day long they really ought to get themselves spayed or neutered. That would solve a myriad of problems, I think.

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Awww man... can I spank a 1yr old that's NOT mine?

Can I? Can I? Can I?

I just read Hee Haw's post -- I guess not. Damn.

I spank my nephews cause I love them. I tell them that when they are with me, they have to listen cause they are not with mommy and daddy. When they are with mommy and daddy, I let them go cause that's not my kuleana. When they are with me, it is my kuleana to discipline them accordingly.

i yell at my sisters' kids (the twins have one daughter each--who i think are treated way too Princessy and are spoiled) but i would never whack them...mostly because they stop way before the point of getting cracks--unlike my two monsters used to.

they're not happy but they KNOW when Auntie Lois is sick of their crap and is not going to stand for it. *cue ATT Mom look*

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I hate this crap especially when the kid does something really bad. Teach em real life, you do something very bad, be ready to pay the price.

Time out is good for some minor stuff. Other than that it's useless.

Same here. Been strict since day one.

I've learned that you gotta be consistantly strict, admit mistakes your as a parent, reward their accomplishments, and always remind your kids that you love em.

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idio would LOVE to smack someone else's naughty keiki (kids),
unfortunately HeeHaw is correct, one touch and you open the possibility of having an assault charge.

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Main thing you discipline with love and not anger.

I'll give you all a hint: punch in the stomach, it doesn't leave bruises j/k

I'm a STRICT parent, but a fair parent. With my 13 year old, I discipline when needed/often and also I reward/praise as much as possible too. She has chores, and when she doesn't do them, she's grounded=no phone, internet, tv, basic privileges. When she occasionally wises up, she gets a jab in the stomach as a reminder to her of who's boss. It doesn't hurt her, but when it gets to that point, she KNOWS dad is serious and stops her behavior. She isn't spoiled, but she's not wanting, that's for sure.

Overall, I'm lucky because she's a good kid and a pretty straight arrow (although it's 9th grade this month).

its always good to have a cop in the family...then if the kid ever does something really stupid can just put them in jail for a day

my brothers stole my baby money long time ago and my dad stuck them in jail...they never stole after that

is it just me or does it seem like the kids are always good when theyre around other people...my oldest one especially because she'll stay over at a friends house and the parents would tell me the next day about how good she is...